Growing older and disliking it.

Overwhelm by thoughts at this hour and there's so much to life. I'm 19 and I'm feeling so old already. What do I do in years to come?

Have you ever thought about it? Will everyone be stuck in the social life cycle of studying, working, getting married, having kids and retirement? Some may add spices to their life, like whatever that makes them happy.

What makes you happy? Somehow half of my happiness comes from superficial materialistic wants (desiring for more. There's a never ending to shopping).
I finally understood it. I knew it earlier though, when adults told me not to focus so much on those. But I guess I'm too imperfect to listen. I still want to keep those stuff to sustain the half of my happiness.

The main point is that I need, you need, to search for happiness in life. Who's actually happy and contented with their life? I guess most humans are greedy (due to our imperfection) and probably only few are.

Till then I need to start figuring out my sources of happiness. I'm not happy, yet. Luck to us... Cheers